SEX DIARIES: Sex Under The Influence
I think sex can be enhanced or stifled by substance use. This depends, of course, on whether you’re drinking, smoking, or doing other drugs, and on how much you do. Let’s start with a discussion of the kind bud.
For years I was a pothead, and I still do smoke pot on occasion. I have found that getting stoned before sex is usually pretty fun. Weed makes me feel relaxed and tingly, and horny as hell. I stop thinking about life’s worries. Headaches or hangovers or other aches and pains are dulled. I really love to crawl into bed with my partner, get stoned and do sexy stuff all day. Hotboxing the shower is a fantastic way to start a stoned-sex session, too.
Some folks get anxious and paranoid from smoking herb, however (sadly). Sex may not be enhanced by being high for these types. If you feel paranoid about some crazy shit, you will not be able to relax and get comfortable with your lover, so lay off the herb during sexy time. Stoned sex also dries a girl out, which is another con. You know how you get super thirsty when you’re baked, aka drymouth? Sure you do. Now imagine that feeling in your vag. But if that’s your only problem with stoned sex, keep a bottle of water and a bottle of lube next to the bed to keep yourself hydrated. Just don’t mix up the bottles (ew).
I find drunk sex to be another story entirely. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and may cause you to do things you’d never dream of doing sober. Sometimes this can be a good thing: you may finally talk to that guy from the mailroom or give the girl in that band your number. If it stops there, fantastic! But, in my experience, it doesn’t usually stop there. Being drunk creates drunk decisions; the more harmless of these have included things like jumping on a trampoline in my underwear. At other times, I’ve gone home with near-strangers, or taken them home with me. Or I’ve slept with good friends, resulting in a strained friendship when morning rolled around. On one occasion I am particularly not proud of, I got in bed with a friend, starting making out, and came back to consciousness some time later as he was pulling off a condom. He assured me that, although I blacked out in memory, I was awake and participatory in the sex we apparently had. Luckily this was a friend I could trust, and he used a condom, but if that had happened with a stranger I would never have forgiven myself.
So, with sex-on-alcohol, my advice is to be fucking careful. Carry condoms, drink water, tell a friend where you’re going. It’s way too easy to do stuff you’ll regret later, or get yourself into even more trouble (from unprotected sex to date rape). And for god’s sake, make sure you end up at your own home on Halloween or after a costume party. Nobody wants to walk-of-shame in a vinyl nurse dress or zombie make up.
Then there’s sex-on-drugs. I have actually only done one drug other than marijuana, and only one time, so I can’t speak with too much authority on the subject. When I was living in the middle of the woods in Washington, Will and I took some mushrooms on a beautiful fall evening. It being my first time doing any hallucinogen, I decided I needed to stay in our cabin, in the bed, under the covers the whole time, so I missed out on all the crazy outdoor exploration opportunities. But as the drug was kicking in, Will and I started fooling around. The sex got better and better as we got higher and higher, and I remember feeling crazy good as I had an orgasm. The experience was, frankly, incomparable.
I’m not sure how sex is on other drugs, but I’ve heard that coke makes it hard for a guy to get it up, ecstasy makes you want to touch everything, and acid makes everyone look like a scary monster. With all drugs and alcohol, of course, proceed with caution. But I say, if it makes sex more fun, anything is good in moderation.